Thoughts and scribblings of an overactive mind.

A conversation with 18 year old me

I don’t know why I thought I’d do this, but I’m doing it anyway. I just thought it would be interesting to see what an 18 year old me would say to me now, and what me now would say to an 18 year old me. I’ve done it imagining it’s an msn conversation, so if you read it like that it might make more sense. I’ve also imagined that talking to past selves is “normal,” as that stops there being a lot of  “oh my god, how are you doing that?” kind of talk.

Me at 18: Heylo.

Me now: hey.

Me at 18: Hows you?

Me now: I’m okay. How’re you?

Me at 18: Nervous :(. I’m starting uni in two weeks! :-O

Me now: What are you nervous about?

Me at 18: I don’t wanna leave my friends. I like my friends now, and i’ll be rubbish at making new ones.

Me now: You mean Adele and Sarah and Rachel and Frances and everyone?

Me at 18: Yeppy. I wish Rachel was still coming to uni with me 😦 then we could have our shared room and be like Jack and Karen.

Me now: lol

Me at 18: Why lol? :s

Me now: Because it doesn’t work like that. It didn’t work like that.

Me at 18: oh. But me and rachel are still friends right?

Me now: ………………………….

Me at 18: oh. why? We love each other, we’re just like jack and karen. Like we do that thing instead of a high five we do a low two where she smacks her boobs into my hands.

Me now: lol. yeah that was fun. But it’s not as easy as all that, it’s hard to go off to uni and keep talking to everyone.

Me at 18: So who are we still friends with?

Me now: Well, we’re still friends with Roxie. She’s amazing.

Me at 18: yeah she is. but arn’t we friends with anyone else? why?

Me now: I sort of stopped talking to them.

Me at 18: wtf? why?

Me now: It wasn’t on purpose. It just happens. I still care about them all, of course I do, but it’s hard to stay in touch and stay close. It’s all very easy for you, you’ve got everything ahead of you, all full of parties and fun and no worries for three years. On the other side things are different.

Me at 18: So do you have any friends in the future? If all the ones I’ve got now are pretty much lost, who do you have in the future?

Me now: I’ve got loads of friends. No need to be all accusatory.

Me at 18: I wasn’t being. So you’ve got loads of friends. That’s good i spose. Do you still hang out and do stuff like every weekend? Still meeting up and drinking bacardi breezers in the back garden?

Me now: bacardi breezers? i forgot that’s all you drink. And to answer your question, no, not exactly.

Me at 18: Why not exactly? I’m confuzzled :s

Me now: Well, you know, I have loads of friends, great friends, but they’re sort of scattered at the moment. In the midlands, in kent, in wiltshire, in bristol, in london.

Me at 18: So how often do you see them? And why do you say kent like you don’t live there?

Me now: Because I don’t duh. And I see them when I can. It’s not all the time but it’s the best we can do.

Me at 18: so who do you have near you then? People you can see all the time? And where are you anyway?

Me now: Staines. And I don’t really have anyone near me.

Me at 18: Where’s Staines? And oh that’s sad.

Me now: You’ll learn in time. And yeah, i suppose it is. But I’m not alone. Might not have any friends near me per se, but I live with my fiance.


Me now: lol. shhhhhhh. spoilers.

Me at 18: Plllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeaaassssssseeeeeeeee tell me? Who is he? He is a he right?

Me now: yes he’s a he. And if you havn’t already changed your status on myspace from bisexual to gay, do it now. And I’m not telling you. Other than he is absolutely brilliant.

Me at 18: :p lol i hope so! And yeah that status got changed ages

Me now: good.

Me at 18: So you’re happy then? In general?

Me now: Yes. Well, pretty much. Well, yes.

Me at 18: You sound certain.

Me now: I am! I am happy.

Me at 18: ahhhh right, i got you. I havn’t changed that much then.

Me now: huh?

Me at 18: Well, you’re obviously not 100% happy about everything, but you’d rather deal with it yourself rather than talk about it loads with me.

Me now: You know me too well.

Me at 18: :p

Me now: Right, back in ten, just need to put something in the oven.

Me at 18: You don’t have to lie, I know you’re not coming back. Same person remember?

Me now: Ahh right, yes, you did the pretend you’ll be back soon thing back then too. Okay, well, nice talking.

Me at 18: Thanky-you. Always a pleasure.

Me now: :). Bye then. Oh, and I know you won’t listen, but TRY and not be too whorey in your first term.

Me at 18: :p

Me now: lol. bye xxxxxx

Me at 18: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<3 ❤


2 responses

  1. djkimmyb

    Despite the ‘cringyness’, taken in a ‘tongue in cheek’ fashion this has got me thinking what I would say to 18 year old me. And 16 year old me. Oh Matthew, you do make me think!!

    January 18, 2011 at 12:13 am

  2. polkadot princess

    This made me sad.
    I miss you.
    But I see how much you have grown up and wish you the best in life.

    January 18, 2011 at 5:31 pm

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