It’s seriously getting so loud in my head, I can’t hear myself anymore. All I hear is this voice or that voice going “you should do this” or “you should do that.” But what about my voice? Where’s my judgement in all this? Am I a fool? Am I someone who is easily tricked? On the small things, yes. If I ask if I can borrow a hole-punch and the person says “no” in a deadpan tone then I’m likely to believe them. But on the big things, on whether I’m being conned or deceived in some way – nah, I don’t get fooled by that. I can smell manipulation a mile off, but that’s mostly because I’m a grade A master at it myself. Always have been.
But yet despite being so sure of myself, I’m still finding it difficult to know my own mind at the moment.
FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!