Thoughts and scribblings of an overactive mind.

Physical Education

It never really lived up to it’s name – at least it didn’t for me. I mean I can honestly say I never felt like I was being educated throughout my many years of PE and its nasty twin – “outdoor games.” That’s another lie right there. Outdoor Games? We weren’t playing monopoly on the grass! Outdoor torture would have been a better description.

Since leaving school, I’ve only looked back on those subjects with pure hatred and glee that it’s all over. But now, whilst I still hate the memory of it, I do have a certain remorse about it. Not that I think I could have done better, but that I think the subject could have been done better for me. Now, at 23 years of age, I am the most unfit, weedy person you are likely to meet. Guns? I’ve barely got water pistols. And my belly doesn’t resemble a 6 pack so much as a Capri-sun. I can’t help but feel that if PE had been just a little better organised that maybe some of this could have been avoided. It was generally one rule for all – everyone did the same thing (except for the odd occasion when we had the “B” team in football – i.e. the rubbish team – and then we just got left to our own devices.) But if maybe right at the beginning our levels could have been assessed then maybe each class could have different levels of activity sessions – so your PE teacher (Mr Parks *wolf whistles*) was more of a fitness instructor you’d pay to hire at a gym than a Nazi stormtrooper. I mean looking back on it he wasn’t awful really, he was probably only the age I am now I expect – and it did seem a lot of the time that he had the compassion to help us weaklings but was bound by the enforced curriculum.

I don’t know, I guess I just feel that PE could have been a good opportunity to achieve something and get healthy, rather than just an enforced hour of activity that I didn’t really enjoy and didn’t really understand. I mean hear I am what, 8 years later? Running five minutes into work absolutely kills me, and after just 15 minutes of Natalie Cassidy’s workout dvd I’m sweating and groaning like a stuck pig. It’s not good really. I feel like I definitely need to improve, and I want to improve now so that I glide into old age with a nice figure. Also, my twenties is probably the hottest I’m going to ever look – I want to make the most of that and not end up with a bulging pot belly and slowly sagging boobs by the time I’m 29.

So, since state education failed me, I shall have to turn my hand to it myself. Will I succeed? Will my interest last more than a week? Will I ever survive one of Natalie’s squat thrusts? Only time will tell!


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