Thoughts and scribblings of an overactive mind.

Attempt failed

Just read my last blog post and realised how much I need to update. Let’s just say this: attempt failed. Mission aborted. Well, sort of anyway.

As usual with me, I dived in head first right at the deep end (a dangerous habit considering I can’t swim) and not suprisingly I started drowning. Getting up at half 6 then working 7 til 5 whilst running to work and exercising every evening AND eating super healthy AND trying to keep housework under control AND editing my first book AND writing my third book – well, it was a recipe for disaster. I got ill in the end because I think it was all too much. Yes, yes people have it tougher, but for me that’s a lot to juggle. Something had to give, and I’m afraid it’s the exercise. I still try and do bits when I can, but it’s not every day. I’m still eating sort of healthy though – smaller portions and no snacky junk in the evenings except at the weekend.

I hated getting ill, it doesn’t happen often. Laid up in bed or festering on the sofa unable to move – all you’re left with is your thoughts. Still, I won’t say it wasn’t completely lacking in benefit. The rest was good for me in a way, as alone with my thoughts it did mean I had some kind of epiphany;

I’m 23, edging towards 24. Young yes, but there are those younger who have done a lot more than I have. You see my brain got a bit muddled, a bit waylayed I guess. I’ve been trying to push everything at once and I’ve ended up pushing nothing, and all the time there’s one thing that I want to do more than anything. Write. Over the last five years I’ve poured blood, sweat and tears into writing my novels – but I’ve done nothing with them. The publishing world is shrinking, agents taking on fewer and fewer people – whilst a million new ways to read on ipads and kindles and whatever else develop everywhere. So I’m taking it into my own hands, seriously this time. I will see my first book published this year, as I will do it myself. No more distractions, no more self sabotage, no more dilly-dallying about. This time, I mean business. I’m going to finish editing book one and get it out there – by any means necessary. And I’m thinking of other projects too:

– “Skins” style dramedy novel set in ancient greece.

– Novel series about a young man who travels round the country in a VW van investigating supernatural stuff, running from a mysterious past.

– Script for a tv series set in a huge london fashion store.

-Novel/novel series that will try to make local government sexy.

– Oh and I also have it in my mind to see if I can interest any papers by writing a no punches pulled account of my time at Topman, letting people know what really happens in Philip Green’s jewel in his crown. Call it my revenge for a year and half of being made to feel like a schoolchild.

See, I have lots of ideas. Now I’m going to go and start getting them going. Watch this space!

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